Monday, July 25, 2011

More details about our growing child

Let me get caught up over the last few weeks. The lab results came back saying that the progesterone was decreasing but the HCGs were increasing. So, I'm taking progesterone and am praying everything is developing normally.

I have heard several people say that God has given them a word or scripture, but I have really never paid much attention. I'm just not a good listener when it comes to that. So, this summer I have really been trying to take time to listen and learn about what God is showing me. Well, two mornings he gave me two words to stand on. First, I was extremely worried about the next set of lab results. I just wanted to hear good news. So, he gave me the words, "The Lord is Your Shepherd." And YES he is!!!! All day I just kept remembering those words and thinking about how he is guiding me. Then the next morning (the day the results would come) I woke up with the words, "Hallelujah" in my head! So, of course I was excited to believe that our results would be great news!

The doctor called and reported that the numbers last week were 170 and this week were 448. So, it was great that they were going up but she would have expected them to be around 800 and around 1500 to hear a heartbeat. So, I'm clinging to the words God gave me and trying not to worry about the #s. She did say everyone has different numbers so I should not be concerned. So, next week we will do this all over again. When talking to my amazing husband, I said, " I just want them to tell me that everything is going to be alright" but he is right when he brought to my attention that every week will be a waiting game and we just have to give it to God. I am so blessed to have a husband who brings our concerns, problems, or difficult situations to God first!! It's so much easier that way.

Days later.......
I started spotting and the doctor said not to worry unless it turns red. Well, it was good for a while but eventually turned red. So, my doctor kind of assumed that I was having a miscarriage without any test to prove so. Well, I wasn't happy with that so I went to the er. The night of our school party....very sad to miss this !!!! But I just need to know. So, through many test they did come to the same conclusion. So, now I'm an emotional wreck and typing about it just feels good. So, since this is a reocurring thing I am very angry at God's plan. I just don't understand. I've always had faith in God and could see the big picture....making myself very positive about any situation.......But I feel weak this time and just very confused! I know you really would rather read about the latest craft idea but this really needs to get out of my system. Thank you for listening. Next blog should be much more uplifting!!!

1 comment:

  1. Praying for you girl! It is so hard to understand God's plans when they don't work with ours! I'm always here if you need to talk or a shoulder to cry on!