I'm back!

Well, I 'm back! I have had a really hard time getting back into this blogging routine again. Every time I get back on here the last post just makes me sad. It just reminds me how many miscarriages we have been through and I don't feel like writing anymore. Soooo..... I have not been blogging but I have been reading, praying, and having great conversations with my close friends! I'm ready to start sharing what is going on in my life. It will be great for me to look at my journey! I'm excited about where God is taking us! So, for today I'm going to give you some great books to read! I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

1st Crazy Love by Francis Chan 
 *God is Love....ever wonder if we are just missing it??

2nd What Happens When Women Say Yes to God by Lysa TerKeurst 
*Figure out what God is telling you and Say YES! This was so good I'm on my second round reading it with a couple of girls. It challenges you and you will love it!

3rs Adopted For Life by Russell D. Moore
* WOW! I'm been searching for answers and finally took a Saturday and read this book, prayed, and worshiped God.....got some answers....God is Good! This book is about how the church should be taking care of orphans.
-I have assigned my husband to read this book.....Can't wait to hear what he thinks!!

I am not a reader but when you have been searching for so long...sometimes you just need to spend time in His word and reading about the topic that is frustrating you ! Can't wait to look back and see this perfect plan!!! God loves us so much!

More details about our growing child

Let me get caught up over the last few weeks. The lab results came back saying that the progesterone was decreasing but the HCGs were increasing. So, I'm taking progesterone and am praying everything is developing normally.


I have heard several people say that God has given them a word or scripture, but I have really never paid much attention. I'm just not a good listener when it comes to that. So, this summer I have really been trying to take time to listen and learn about what God is showing me. Well, two mornings he gave me two words to stand on. First, I was extremely worried about the next set of lab results. I just wanted to hear good news. So, he gave me the words, "The Lord is Your Shepherd." And YES he is!!!! All day I just kept remembering those words and thinking about how he is guiding me. Then the next morning (the day the results would come) I woke up with the words, "Hallelujah" in my head! So, of course I was excited to believe that our results would be great news!





The doctor called and reported that the numbers last week were 170 and this week were 448. So, it was great that they were going up but she would have expected them to be around 800 and around 1500 to hear a heartbeat. So, I'm clinging to the words God gave me and trying not to worry about the #s. She did say everyone has different numbers so I should not be concerned. So, next week we will do this all over again. When talking to my amazing husband, I said, " I just want them to tell me that everything is going to be alright" but he is right when he brought to my attention that every week will be a waiting game and we just have to give it to God. I am so blessed to have a husband who brings our concerns, problems, or difficult situations to God first!! It's so much easier that way.

Days later.......
I started spotting and the doctor said not to worry unless it turns red. Well, it was good for a while but eventually turned red. So, my doctor kind of assumed that I was having a miscarriage without any test to prove so. Well, I wasn't happy with that so I went to the er. The night of our school party....very sad to miss this !!!! But I just need to know. So, through many test they did come to the same conclusion. So, now I'm an emotional wreck and typing about it just feels good. So, since this is a reocurring thing I am very angry at God's plan. I just don't understand. I've always had faith in God and could see the big picture....making myself very positive about any situation.......But I feel weak this time and just very confused! I know you really would rather read about the latest craft idea but this really needs to get out of my system. Thank you for listening. Next blog should be much more uplifting!!!

Beautiful Blessing

Before Rhees and I got married we had a discussion about having children. I had a 15yr old and 6 miscarriages so as you can guess I was hesitate. He doesn't have any children and LOVES them. So, after talking I knew that I just didn't want anymore because I was afraid. I knew that if God wanted us to have kids then His plan would be perfect. Rhees and I would really love to have our own kids but adoption was an option if that's what God wanted for us. We talked after we got married about when we wanted to start trying. We agreed that we needed a few months to ourselves but don't want to wait too long because of age. Since birthcontrol tends to take about three months to get out of your system we stopped it in May. This gave us time for it to get out of my system and maybe have the due date be in the summer. You know that is ideal for teachers so we don't have to take many or any days off. Well, through all of this planning I really knew God kept telling me: as humans we have to make some plans and be responsible....but God's plan will never let you down. For the first time I just set aside the control of when it "had" to happen. God will take care of the details. I'm not saying I was perfect at it but it was so freeing to know that I could just enjoy life and let him do the work. Not to get gross but just enjoy sex instead of focusing on making a baby. Well, to my surprise and delight on Saturday 7-9-11 I found out I was pregnant!!!!! I could not believe it!! I kept taking test because I was just in shock. I haven't even been off birthcontrol for 3 months.


The next step was to tell the man I love that we are going to share the experience of having a baby!!! So, after thinking I came up with a plan. We went to the park where he proposed to me and of course there was someone in "our" spot. Just like last time. So, we started to feed the ducks and guess what came up.......a BABY duck!!!! Yes, it was so cute and fit our moment perfectly! Well, we found a table and I read a little poem that I wrote for him:

God has changed our life in so many ways

Blessings are all around us today

I could hardly wait to tell you

We have a precious baby on the way

Then I had a little box with a bow on it for him. When he opened it there was a note that said, " Congrats Daddy!!! We're Pregnant!!! Then there were 3 positive pregnancy test in the box.

After that we cried, laughed, and were smiling from ear to ear!!!! And then my most favorite thing about our relationship. We prayed together for this baby and for our family. We dedicate this baby to the Lord and are blessed that God would want us to raise one of his children!!!

07-10-11

Because of past problems that I have had we are waiting to tell everyone. So, when we went to church I'm sure we were all smiles! But the message couldn't be anymore perfect for us. It was about how God wants us to have blessings.

~Side note: Necia has been begging for us to have a baby. She has really been wanting one around. So, she always teases me by rubbing my belly and saying how's the baby? Well, I always giggle and say stop! Well, today during church she started doing that and I wanted to tell her so bad! So, when we got home I couldn't resist. I told her. She is super excited and said she kind of suspected it.

07-11-11

Well, it's Monday and doctors offices are open so let the calling begin! I talked to several and haven't made a final decision. I live in a smaller community and I just am not sure I'm comfortable about delivering in a hospital without a NICU. Maybe I shouldn't think like that but I just want to be prepared. So, still thinking on the doctor. But my regular OBGYN was kind enough to order some lab work today and then again Wed. to compare. This will make me feel so much better!!!!! She can see if I need progesterone. This is one thing they can do to help you not miscarry. I need all the help I can get!

~Later we filled in our parents on the exciting news!!!! There were tears of course!

livin life!

Join us for some Summer Lovin over at PoutyPinkPrincess




This week has been pretty relaxing. I watched another baby! That has just been a blast. I just love babies! They are so full of happiness and giggles.....well, most of the time :). I also have been working on my office. This is a major undertaking!!!! Little steps have been made but I just want to see the finished result. It will be all worth it in the end! Here is a pic of the diaster office room. See, the problem is there is no storage to store my valuable posessions. We will get there I just need to deal with a few of my issues (scrapbooking) and it will be organized and awesome!!!!



This week I painted new furniture, have started painting an accent wall and thought about organizing. Slowly but surely we will get there!!!!!


More importantly this week I attended a bible study at church. It is somehting that I have been wanting to do. So, I jumped at the opportunity to do a Beth Moore study with childcare...a must this week! It is called Breaking Free. It will reveal some things you really want to hide . But man I need that. So, it has been great!

Menu

Well, last week was kinda crazy so I have some meals left. I just love when that happens. Anyways, I went to the store today and this is what we are having this week.





Monday: Sandwich/ chips/ cookies and maybe even some ice cream


This is our picnic at the river. We will watch the fireworks and enjoy family!





Tuesday: Grilled Chicken/ Chicken rice/ Corn


I'm lovin the grill. It is so yummy! I'm going to try grilling the corn this time.





Wednesday: Brisket/ mashed potatoes


I can't tell you how excited about this I am!!!! I had some money left over because we had a couple of meals we didn't eat last week. So, I splurged and am trying Pioneer Women's recipe!!!!





Thursday: Pesto with Penne





Friday: Ravioli with Meat sauce
My little girls favorite!! Except she prefers it with no sauce. Strange I know...but that's how she likes it!




Saturday: Shrimp Ettoufee

One Fishy Day

This weeks Summer Lovin


Join everyones Saturday Fun over at PoutyPinkPrincessRhees promised to take me to the Aquarium. Last time we tried to go we didn't make it on time. That was the night he proposed to me. So, we just went this week. It was amazing!!! I love ocean creatures!




I loved these precious seahorses!!! They were hanging on these plants with their tales!

We really enjoyed touching the creatures! Especially the stingrays.

We also fed them shrimp. Yummy!

We spent the day looking at fish and then we spent the night eating fish. Sushi!!!! That is our favorite food!!!

This weeks Summer Lovin. Join us over at Poutypinkprincess and share your Summer Fun!





This week I have been watching a precious 6 month old. He has definitely won my heart! But let me tell you I totally forgot the time they require. Yeah those projects I've been working on, those are on hold. It got easier each day but he kept me busy!I did brave WalMart with him and was successful. It was definitely a harder trip than usual but I got everything on the list and was even able to still use my calculator. I know ...nerd...but when your on a budget you have to know how much your spending. Anyway....after we got home he wet on me. I think he was letting me know that the trip was too long! People that say being a mom isn't a full time job are insane, and not a mom themselves. It was nice having a handsome little man around our house! I think my husband fell in love with having him here. I think he is on the mission to have one of his own. He is just too cute with babies.

This is him before we went swimming. He loved the water! I think he kicked his legs the whole time we were in the water!

Saturday he went home and I went to a Shower for one of my friends. It was super fun to be with the girls. We played several games and ate food. What more could you ask for?

Well, here is the cake! It was red velvet and delicious!

And yes, we played the toilet paper bride. Too fun!!! I must say I had some great designers!